The Universe

So some people say that if you are born, then the universe needs you. I don't know if this is true. I know that everything happens in life happens for a reason, i believe in that so much, maybe someone is born so another can die, or maybe you are just here to teach your kids what you learned through life and they do so much better. Or maybe you will become a doctor and save someone's life, or become an architecture and build someone's shelter, i mean there are lots of stuff to do in life. All you have to do is figure out what that is. I am in a college where it is supposed to teach students to become translators, when i actually applied for this college, i thought it would be completely different. I thought all i was gonna do is reading novels and analysis them and say whatever i think, but we actually don't do that. If you wanna pass, all you have to do is to write good english, and maybe they will look into the analysis. I actually get the analysis from the internet, i keep surfing it and see some people's analysis and just memorize it and write in the exam. That's not how it is supposed to go, and it has been going like that for over than twenty years. My aunt has been in the same college, and it is all the same, the same novels, the same everything. This has to change, if i just figure out how, maybe i will change it one day, maybe that is my goal, who knows !
Anyway i hope the universe open the roads for me, because all i am doing all the time is just sitting at home doing nothing except writing this blog, if anyone has a suggestion to do in my free time, please be my guest and write a comment.. 

People

So today's blog is about people. I love knowing new friends, it gives me a look into the world through their eyes. I love to see how they think, what they know, and maybe gain some knowledge from them. I used to care so much about people, i used to talk to them all the time, even if they don't ask back. I loved making them happy, but then when i got upset from something, and i find that other person sees it as something trivial, i felt like i am making small things something big, that maybe i could have lost a friendship because i felt angry that they don't ask, or maybe they don't feel the same way i feel about them. This made me change, this made me careless actually. Now i don't feel like talking to people much, i feel like it is useless, whatever i say, it is just the same as i said before, because nothing new is happening. Even my best friends, i don't talk to them much as i used to. I used to call them, because they always had new stories to listen to, they go out most of the time, or some people talk to them so they tell me about them. I don't know what is the point of this blog actually, it is just me writing some stuff out i guess. I really want to talk to my friends, but i feel like it is so hard, i just think that i have to talk and ask about how they are, and i know that this is going no where, just to talk a little and that's it. I don't like technology in this matter, i love going out and having face to face conversations, not chatting and stuff. In this matter only, i wish i had lived in the past, so i could sit with my family and talk as my parents and grand-parents used to do, all they had is a black and white television, and nothing else except going out in the gardens and having picnics and this kind of stuff.

Stories

I have always wanted my life to be crazy, so i could have great stories to tell, something to leave in this world. But it turned out that my life is all about rules and obeying them. They say rules are meant to be broken, and i try to do that, but then, i feel stupid or guilty.I always feel like i am boring person, because i sit with people and i tell stories i know that they are not interesting, but it is like it is all i have. I wanna do crazy stuff, but that doesn't mean stupid, like bungee jumping, or jumping from a plane with a parachute, or para sailing, stuff like that, stuff that will make me scream out of my lungs and maybe scared as hell, but after that, i know it is gonna be amazing and i would be happy. My parents of course will be scared so much, but it is supposed to be my life, i am supposed to do whatever i want, yeah they can interfere with some decisions, but others are supposed to be decided by me. See how many times i wrote the word " supposed " ? Much, right !
I am gonna try to make a difference in my life, i am never giving up on that, next time i am gonna raise my voice and speak because i am deserved to be heard, as every other human on this earth, you are deserved to be heard, raise up your chin and never be afraid of doing anything, just make sure it is something right and prove your point, maybe they will see you as a grown up..
I hope everyone of you have great stories to tell..

Being Strong..

This post is going to be about having a strong character, because i think i don't have it, and people need it badly. Because i have a weak character, my dad is controlling me, yes he has the right to tell me what to do since i am his daughter, but there are things that are supposed to be my own decisions, and he is taking that away from me. Like to get a job for example, i wanted to work in a call center, it had its own transportation, and everything was set, all i had to do is to go and work, but he said no, and he started with excuses like " why would you start working now, wait until you graduate " or " This job won't do anything good in your life and it is just a waste of time " and many more like that, excuses that have no meaning, or any logic in them. I think if i had a strong character, i would convince him to take the job, because like i said, i am gonna be 21 years old soon, and it's my life to do whatever i want with. Yes they can give any piece of advice they want, but i have to be independent, i have to do something on my own. Because in the end of this life, i am the only one who is gonna be asked of what i did in my life, i don't wanna say i just stayed at home doing nothing except eating, watching and sleeping, then repeating all of this again everyday, plus doing some house work. Sometimes i think about doing something that is gonna leave some mark in the world, that they are gonna say " Thanks to you, we became better ", or helping in any way, even if it is not that something big, but i seriously wanna do something i love. I think i don't know what my passion really is, i love taking photos yes, but if i am gonna complete in that, then i would like to open my own studio, that's gonna be famous one day, and also i want to go through the world, and getting to know other people and write about them, and taking photos of them, this would be amazing, this would be a dream come true. So my point is, whatever your passion is, convince your parents that it is your right to do whatever you want, and never let it go, it has to be legal though. Follow your heart, trust your guts, and make your dreams come true, and i wish you all that your dreams come true. 

A way of life..

Okay so i am gonna write this so anyone can take this as a piece of advice, or as a story to share and hopefully it would help in anyway. So my parents think that i am foolish, that anyone can trick me into anything because i can't think clearly, and i try to prove them that they are wrong, but i don't think they see it, especially my dad. I feel that he is always seeing me as a ten year old girl, although i am gonna be 21 soon. The problem is that he is too protective, he is always afraid that something bad is gonna happen, he never sees a silver lining in anything. Whenever i have a trip, or i just wanna go out with my friends, he tells me no, because a thief can come and steal from me, or the streets aren't safe, or i can just die in any way, i hate that he is that protective, i know that he is a father and he has the right to be afraid, but not that much, all he is doing is suffocating me. I see other parents letting their kids go, and i am sure that they are concerned about them as much as any parent would do, but they are letting them living, they are letting them taking their own choices, so they would know the right from the wrong by themselves, and i believe this is the best way to raise a child, i am not a mother yet, but if i become one, yes i would set boundaries for my kids, but i will let them do things that they can do, life is about living within your limits, as long as you're going in the right direction. Whenever something happens to me, i can't tell my parents as anyone would do, i don't trust them enough to tell them, i know they would be judgmental of everything i do, although i know i am not doing anything wrong, but they have the mind of the 90s when people were so strict about everything, though it wasn't wrong. A piece of advice from me, earn your kids' trust, let them learn on their own way and let their character veil the world, don't always tell them they are foolish, encourage them to live and not to be afraid, let them learn from their mistakes, no one is perfect except Allah, we are meant to make mistakes. But fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Remember that, and i hope this blog is making difference in anyone's life, because all i wanna do is to make a difference and i can't with my dad keeping me in the house... 

The past

Hello everyone, well i didn't write for the past few weeks because i have finals, i still have two to go, wish me luck. Well today i want to write about the past and what it means for everyone. Well the past for me is like a ghost haunting me, but not my past, my dad's. It's always when i want something to do for myself, or i wanna go on a trip with my friends, it always start with " well when i was your age, we did some stuff ". I really hate this, i mean that he shouldn't compare his past to my present, it doesn't mean that he did stuff that he wasn't supposed to do that i am gonna do the same, God created us so we can build our future and make a brighter one, not to do the same mistakes over and over again, because this way, we would be just stuck in a universe with nothing going on to improve it. I think that my dad had lots of girlfriends when he was in high school and college, and he doesn't want me to get a boyfriend. I actually don't want to get a boyfriend, i have always wanted a serious relationship with someone i love and he would love me back, that i am gonna have for the rest of my life. And i told him zillions of times that i will never have a boyfriend, but he never believes me, he thinks that the devil will play with my mind and would make want to have a boyfriend. He's really a doubtful man and it gets in my way of doing simple stuff, like last week, i wanted to stay over at my friend's house, but he said no because her parents were all out and he thought that i just wanna go there because i wanna talk to my boyfriend, like seriously i told him million time that i don't have one and i will never have one, and still he doesn't believe me or trust me. I have no idea what i can do with this, i proved to him that he trust but he never does, it has been a week and i didn't talk to him because of that. I always feel like he just sees me as a naive five years old girl that anyone can trick her into anything, not as a twenty years old grown-up. Well if you have any stories like that please share them with me, i would love to hear them xoxo.. 

Parents

I have always wanted this relationship with my mother where i come home and tell her everything about my day and my silly situations i do, and about guys i like, but i never see myself doing that in a hundred years. My mother also wants that, and she feels alone, since i am like her only daughter, and i think she likes girls, she always wanted another daughter. But she is so judgmental in everything, so i know when i am gonna tell her stuff she is gonna tell me this is wrong and bla bla bla, so i never tell her anything, i just talk to my friends because i always feel the need that i need to talk, to tell my problems, even if they mean nothing to them.  In my country, there are certain rules about how to deal with guys, not to sit alone with him, not to go out together, the talking should be limited, etc..I know i am not doing anything wrong when i talk to guys, but my dad is too strict. He always tells me if there is a gathering and some of my guy friends are there, then i shouldn't go, because it is not polite to sit like that. Well i think it is wrong as long as i am just sitting and hanging out. Everything i do in the house, my dad gets suspicious and i have no idea why. He warned me not to have a boyfriend ever, because this is one of the restricted things.
I never wanted to have a boyfriend actually, i always see movies and tv shows and yeah i love the couples there, doing stuff for each other and being all cute and all, and sometimes i want that. I want that someone to love me and care about me, there is no shame in saying that out loud. Everyone now is either getting a boyfriend or getting engaged or even getting married, and i am just here sitting beside my parents.
When i did want to get a job, to get new experience and know some new people, my dad said no, with an apparent excuse, just a no. I seriously hate that, other parents would force their kids to get a job so they can depend on themselves.
I am always feeling hurt, i feel hurt right now, i want to travel, to drop out of college, i don't see a use of the education since apparently my dad wants me beside him forever, my life is just boring sitting in front of the laptop watching and watching and watching. Watching has always been my escapism and addiction in this world, through tv shows and movies i live the life that i can't live right now.. 

Ideas

So new thoughts here. I think that i am in love with one of my colleagues in college, but i just can't tell him. He is my best friend and i think we friend zone each other. My best friend always asks me why do i like him, but i actually can't find an answer to that. Is that normal ? I don't know, when i say he is funny and caring she tells me he is not. I actually think i know him better than anyone, and i know that i am very close to him, but he is from the guys that talks to lots of girls and confidence of himself and that if a girl wants him, she will come to him. He doesn't usually start things. I don't know if i ever gonna tell him or not. But i actually think that he knows, or the thought came to his mind that maybe i like him, but i treat him just as best friend, i do friend zone him too.
 I have no idea what falling in love is like, i don't know if me right now is this or not. I feel like my heart is aching, my mind is just thinking about him, like he said he is gonna talk to me, but he doesn't, because of his confidence stuff. And i really think about him like everyday, about situations we have been through together, and the laughs and the jokes and annoying each other..God why people have to be that confusing ? I just wish that everything would be much simpler because i am tired of this.
I don't know lots of guys and he is the only one i see myself with. He is a good one, only if he didn't play with girls that much. 

Purpose

Hello guys. So today i opened facebook and i was surfing through the home page, when i saw the page of Bethany Hamilton showing her baby bump and having fun on the beach with her friends. I saw her and i thought about my purpose in life. You see, she has only one hand, yet she still can surf because she loves it and she does everything to make it work. I really want to have a purpose in life, to do something hard and get tired because of it, and then i feel like i really did something successful. I don't study hard at college, because i am not convinced with what we are taking in our semesters, i think it is actually too little and it is not going to help us in anything else in real life. Most of the professors don't let us talk about our own opinion, to make us actually think, only a few. And the problem is that we are used to memorizing stuff and writing them in the exam just to succeed since school. And i am from those people who can memorize easily to succeed and sometimes i hate that. If i can get into another school now outside, i would do it in a blink of an eye..I seriously want to learn something that is going to be useful for me after that. Maybe to learn how to teach people in a new way, to think of my own opinion and sharing it even if i think it is silly. Also i have been doing presentations for three years now, and i still didn't get over my fear of presenting. I seriously suck at that, and i wanted to be more confident of myself. I really wanted to take an Italian course to learn a new language from the beginning, but my dad said no, because of his doubts that are going to destroy my life one day, because when i told him, he told me " so who are you going to meet there ? " like seriously dad i want to go there to learn. I have this dream of travelling to most of the countries and i would need languages to communicate with people there. I know it would be hard to do it while having someone like my dad, but i am trying not to give up on this dream..So have a purpose everyone, chase it and do everything in your power to make it happen, because if i were in your place and i have everything in my hands to do what i want, i would do it in a second. 
Have a good day :) xo  

Family

Good morning everyone. Today is the second of May and i hope you're enjoying this amazing weather if you have it, and if you don't, try to do anything to make the day. So i think most of the people have families, even if they are adopted. They are the people that make you feel loved, although i know some families kick their kids out of the house, and i don't know how they do that. Because every mother and father should love their kids no matter what, not to get married and have children and then you discover that you hate that. My family is good. They love me and try to do everything for me and my brothers. But sometimes i feel like i should be connected to them more. I see movies, i see my friends and they talk to their parents about anything and they do discuss them in a logical way, but i don't have that with my parents, because they have restrictions about some stuff and they can be over-protective. So i know what i am doing is right, but in their eyes, they just see it all wrong. Like talking to boys, my dad doesn't want me to mingle with them much, but all he says that he once was a guy like them and he knows what happens. I refuse that, if everything happened in the exact same way, then nothing new would have happened in this world, and everything would be just the same and boring, i see that i should talk to guys, put my own limits and there it is, nothing wrong with that. Also i sometimes have trips but my dad says no, because he is afraid that something might happen to me and get hurt. I understand his point of view, but if i lived like that my whole life, afraid of doing stuff like that, my life would be much more boring as it already is. I want to live my life, to go on trips with my friends, do crazy stuff and one day i would be telling those stories to my children and grandchildren. I want to travel and see the world, to know new people, maybe meet the love of my life and have my own family. I hope that i would raise them in a good way, i would stuff like my parents did with me, but for sure some things are gonna be changed. I would put limits to them, but they would also feel free to talk to me about stuff, not like me now not knowing what to do.
if you have any stories about your family please feel free to share.
Have a good day people xo. 

First blog

Hello everyone, my name is Nada. I am 20 years old. As you can see this is my first blog here. I thought about writing my thoughts and memories, anything i want to, because you know, nothing is ever erased from the internet. So first i will talk a little about myself, maybe this will help you to feel a little connected. I am in college, third year, English major. It has been fun studying English though it can hard sometimes. I can say that college has been the best phase in my life till now, i have known the best people there. I have got really close to some people and i would never imagine my life without them now. They would help me in my good and bad times, i would feel like talking with them about anything. Now let's move on to another subject, being an English major made me think about writing, that maybe someday i want to be a writer, but not just writing fictions, i want to travel the world to learn new culture, see new stuff and eat wonderful food and write about all that. I actually love typing on my keyboard, and i love writing with my pen, i could write for hours and never get tired. But i feel like i don't write very well. I see my friends write some stuff and i think that they are much better than mine. If anyone reading this and you know about writing, maybe you would tell me your opinion about my structure of writing and if i need to change some stuff, i would be thankful..
This is enough for today and tomorrow i am gonna talk about another subject.
Good night people xo.